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The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss, by George A. Bonanno
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Review
"Fascinating and readable ... a sensitive and sensible view of loss."―New York Times"A deep and intelligent book.... It's heartening to discover that grieving is not 'work,' we don't have to be successful at it, and we're stronger than we know."―Double X, Slate"This is a valuable book for Bonanno's application of the scientific method to a field that badly needs it."―New Scientist"Perhaps the most renowned grief researcher in the United States ... Bonanno's work ... has redefined the science of grief research."―The Atlantic"The Other Side of Sadness is a game changer. Bonanno carefully assembles scientific evidence to show that most of what we thought we knew is just plain wrong. If you want to know the truth about the human experience of loss, there's only one book on the shelf."―Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology, Harvard University, and author of Stumbling on Happiness"Brilliant and moving."―Dacher Keltner, professor of psychology, University of California, Berkeley, and author of Born to Be Good
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About the Author
George A. Bonanno is professor of clinical psychology and Chair of the Department of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University's Teachers College. He lives in New York City with his wife and two children.
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Product details
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: Basic Books; Reprint edition (December 28, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780465021901
ISBN-13: 978-0465021901
ASIN: 0465021905
Product Dimensions:
5.6 x 0.6 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.3 out of 5 stars
86 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#188,263 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I felt so much better after reading this book. Everyone told me I needed to go to counseling for grief therapy after my husband died, but I didn't feel the need to do so. This book validated that as human beings we are resilient and most of us find out way through the grieving process and out the other side without the intervention of professionals and that such intervention can even prolong the grieving process. I have been accused of being "the merry widow" because I was able to laugh and enjoy life in between the bouts of deep yearning and sadness that comes with widowhood. However, this book affirms that this is the way that people heal and recover from losses. We are designed to recover from the setbacks in life and go on to live our lives as fully as possible, not stay in the shadows remembering what once was or could have been. It is the only book that validated my own personal experience as being normal. Our society expects widows to be uniformly sad for a year and then suddenly be over it. The reality of recovery from this kind of loss is very different from society's expectations and this book provides the scientific evidence to explain how healthy, resilient people deal with their loss and recover over time.
I lost my husband and two sons in a small plane crash. People asked me, "How could you survive?" Bonanno explains how we survive by summarizing the research that shows that most humans are incredibly resilient. He does not discount the sadness that one experiences but shows that many people can survive and live happy lives despite their losses. Excellent book.
I discovered Bonanno on the "Grief" article on Wikipedia. He's a Columbia University psychologist whose chief insight is that most people display resilience in the face of adversity. Contra the grief counseling establishment (and industry), sixty percent of people bounce back pretty quickly and successfully. About 10-15% do not, it is true. He doesn't ignore them.I think the time spent on personal cases (including his own) adds greatly to the reading experience. If you want a more pointy-headed take on all of this, google Bonanno and you'll get it. You may have to email him directly. For what he set out to do, for a general audience, I think this book succeeds big-time.
This book is a very detailed and highly researched book on the bereavement and grieving process, how to approach it, move through it, and find the happiness that lies beyond. I will say it is a heavy read. I read three or four pages a day and then had to study them in my mind and make sure I understood what Dr. Bonnano was try to tell me. As a Christian, I did have to add my own parallel thoughts to his work, but that actually added a dimension to the book and to my own understanding. In short, it helped me figure out where I was at with God on my own.A great book for those willing to take the time to read and understand the journey. This was the third book in my selection to better understand myself and my grief.
I am a student doing a graduate diploma in counselling, and I bought this book to do some reading on grief as I will be studying grief trauma and loss next semester. Long story short this is a beautiful book, just beautiful. Plenty of scientific information about grief as well as many illustrative stories. George explores his own grieving of his father's death, and the book ends in a marvellous exploration of many cultures, and the ultimate mysticism of the loss of a loved one. I have recommended this book to many and have read it twice.
This fellow is brilliant. Empirical data! Great work, a huge contribution to the psychology of grief. Why are we still teaching Kubler-Ross? She did a great service creating a language of grief and getting the medical community to face grief, however, we know more now. This book and Bannano's work is an accumulation of that knowledge.
It was an interesting book, but not what I expected. It was not really helpful for me but that doesn't mean it wouldn't for someone else. Everyone is different and grieves in their own way. I was searching for something different than this. This book was on the list at our Hospice as a possibility.
Bonanno is a chair at Columbia University in NYC and has been studying grief for several decades. He knows his material and makes a case for individual forms of grieving that don't follow anyone's "theory" of grieving or coming to terms with death and sadness. I can highly recommend the book. He was someone I interviewed for a book I wrote on MS for patients with that disorder.
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